A little complaining

So, I am doing really well. And so far, I've had a pretty good weekend. But I just want to complain/rant for a little bit because I think writing out what's bothering me might help me to digest it more and get over it.
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I just wrote this whole entry and thought it seemed stupid so I erased it. But I still think that it would help me to write about my angst therefore I'll recap, briefly, what's bothering me. I like a guy at work named Ira. I'm not sure if it's because I think he's cute, or that he's a good person, or because he's just there, but I like him. I talk to Ira sometimes at my desk, or at lunch, or at work meetings and that makes me happy. But I feel that Ira pays much more attention to my friend Erin, the administrative assistant for his department, than he does to me. To make matters worse I can't confide in my friend Erin about the situation.

I can't tell Erin that I like Ira because it would make work awkward. I can't tell anyone at work that I like Ira because it would make work awkward.

Erin goes out to happy hour with Ira and Ira calls Erin to hang out. This makes me feel sad.

I want Ira to call me to hang out and to take an interest in me.

And he isn't/doesn't.

I realize that I can't make anyone like me. And I realize that I'm a good person and Ira not liking me doesn't mean I'm not special, or fun, or cute, or that I am worthless. I just am frustrated about the whole situation and the secrecy of my feelings and the fact that Erin talks about Ira frequently. I also feel frustrated because irrationally I want Erin to invite me when she hangs out with Ira. I want to be included. But, Erin is not obligated to me and doesn't have to invite me to hang out with her if she doesn't want to. If Erin wants to spend one-on-one time with Ira she's more than entitled to.

It still bothers me.

I'll write an entry tomorrow recapping tangible things that have happened to me.