Well, I'm feeling upset and though I can explain why I know that I'm being silly. I have a new apartment and am living in a very exciting city. I have a job that pays well enough and I get to work with nice people every day. I've made friends at work. I have cute clothes to wear to work. I have friends. It's supposed to be really nice out this week.
But I just feel cranky and unfulfilled. I mean I have so much to be happy about but I don't feel that happy...
I just feel kind of lonely. I really miss my friends and having people to hang out with all the time. I'm a social person and I get a lot out of my friendships and relationships...so I am living in a great city and there are fun things to do...but who am I going to share it with?
Of course there's the potential and the probability that I'll make friends and in 6 months or a year this feeling will seem far away. But right now, as I'm planning to go run errands after work and bake chicken when I get home I just feel lonely. I want to go out and get drinks with my friends. Or I want to take a walk around the neighborhood with my sister...
But no one's really available for me.
I guess I need to get used to living on my own and being more independent. I guess I'm just so used to being with people or near people that I care about that the idea of just being on my own is scary.
And I don't really feel like I have anyone that I can talk to about it. I have my family but they're all sad that I left Stamford and are like 'you're going to forget about us bla bla' so I can't really talk to them about leaving. And my sister's going through her 'I'm turning 30 phase' so she's doing her own thing. My friends from work will listen but I don't really want to burden them with my problems. And then all my other friends are off in other places busy with their own lives. And I feel silly being upset when there's no big thing to be upset about. I had a good day. I should basically be really happy right now and looking forward to a relaxing evening at home.
I think I'm feeling this way because I didn't get to listen to my music in the morning...
seriously.
1 comment:
i know what you mean. you do have a lot to be excited about right now, but its hard when you have no one to share it with. i feel like that a lot. i really miss just hanging out w people at the end of the day. youll have friends soon! and it is good to be more independent!
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